Dear reader, you finally want to overcome your shyness. As you know, we live in a world where, if you want something, most of the time, you must go take it yourself. Of course, sometimes you can meet a kind soul who will take pity on your miserable condition and will hold out your hand … but most of the time, this is a bitchy world. Eat or be eaten, that is the law of the jungle, and in love too, that is the law of the strongest; first come, first served; Fuck before being fucked (… for this last point, no one will complain).
But what about the introverted little person you are? How to overcome the obstacles inherent in your sickly social phobia? Overcoming shyness is not easy, yet it can become really necessity when you have taken a terrible desire to meet someone. You are lucky! You will find here a wonderful article that will solve all your worries of the socially challenged you are.
Before being able to overcome your shyness and attempt to approach an average target to make them a comprehensive demonstration of your charm, you have to learn how to approach people and talk to them in general. And In order to achieve this, we will see what self-confidence is. This is the basic starting point.
Self-confidence was one of my first advice on this blog (see prior 4 -french only for now-). As I ‘m not a person that encumbers themselves with unnecessary problems, I felt, at this time, that the injunction “trust yourself” was enough for the few onlookers passing by. Now that you are tens of thousands reading daily these pages, I may have to clarify my idea. Statistically, you are potentially craving for real advices.
So, to overcome your shyness, you first have to begin with self-confidence. Dear reader suffering from lack of self-assurance, I will not give you these cheap tips to boost your self-esteem found in crappy personal development manuals. Such as the one that encourages you to get up in the morning telling yourself how the world is lucky to have you, or this other one about the fact that you are unique as a fucking[cryout-pullquote align=”left|center|right” textalign=”left|center|right” width=”33%”][/cryout-pullquote][cryout-pullquote align=”left|center|right” textalign=”left|center|right” width=”33%”][/cryout-pullquote] snowflake. We both know that you would lie to yourself and to the universe. No.
In my view, the key to self-confidence to overcome your shyness lies in being fully aware of the fact that you are, instead, an insignificant crap in this wide world. As a consequence, every action you can do, everything you can say is insignificant. Also, why the hell bother yourself with trivial questions and binding complexes when you can authorize yourself the pleasure of minor social aberrations without having significant repercussions in the universe?
In other words, whatever you go talk to your target or not, it will have no noticeable impact on your life nor on your target’s life. Go talk to them, even to say stupid things which you will be shamed of afterwards, it will not change the world and your lives in the long term will not be altered. If there is a consequence, it can only be in your advantage because your inaction is already a failure. In short, do not be afraid.
Once this first obstacle is overcome, you can now get to the heart of the problem and try to reach out to others. But before anything else, you have to learn to relax.
It is quite conceivable, dear reader, that in certain cases, nervousness just take over your thinking and short-circuits your brain. Under stress, a vague shyness can quickly turn into full mental block. My advice to protect you from these panic attacks are according to your tastes and your personality:
-excessive or strong alcohol consumption
-Satanist meditation on throat singing
-watching the Nyan Cat video blaring for 4 hours (this is a minimum) before the feared situation
Once your mind free, you are ready to consider going to meet new people calmly. But before that, you have to stop being intimidated by others.
3. Stop feeling intimidated
Convinced of the insignificance of your being in the universe you may see others as great, wonderful and inaccessible persons. You might think they are better than you, that their judgment rules your life. You might think that going to talk to them, impose the vision of your ugly face to their eyes and your warm and fouled breath to their nose, would be an affront. Don’t be so sure. Others people are insignificant crap too.
Sometimes, their ego may push them to convince themself otherwise, to think they are better than you, but they are wrong, ignores these shit-flakes and leave them bury their head in the sand as they please. But keep in mind that you are not worth less than them and you are all sharing the same mire.
You are now ready to reach out to others.
4. Reach out to others
By following these simple steps, you will learn that reach out to other is much easier than you ever imagined.
To go to talk to another person, I advise you to turn towards the direction of that person and be sure of the area is free of obstacle between you and your target. Then stand straight on feet, and shift the weight of your upper body forward and offset your balance immediately placing your right leg forward and lean on it. In the same movement, shift your weight on that leg, and then do it again using this same technique with your left leg. And so on. You might observe that you are getting closer to your target, do not worry, this is normal.
5. Knowing what to say
Once close to your target, break the ice with some trite talk. To choose your banalities, imagine that you speak with and old person in your neighbourhood:
“Nice weather, huh?” or “It’s been a few days since I have nothing in my mailbox … did the postman came to your home?”.
You can also adapt your speech to the context, for example, to the location: at the slaughter: “so, you also eat dead animals then?”. At the supermarket “well, well … tampons? Aunt Flo’s visiting”. Or possibly drop a nice compliment “Wow, what a great pair of tits!”.
All these sentences are a good approach to start the conversation and that, dear shy reader, is precisely how you must forget your preconceptions: it is not necessary to say something brilliant, awesome, or even smart to approach a target. Just look relaxed and unfazed, show that you are friendly or interested in the other by asking questions for example. This is a very good start to overcome your shyness. For the rest, let the chemistry and spontaneity work for you, voila! Unless you’re ugly … that’s out.
Dear reader, I hope these tips to overcome your shyness have been helpful, that they will help you in your everyday life, and thanks to me, you will know the pleasure to approach people as you please.